DEPRESSION AND PsA

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Comment by JW on March 29, 2013 at 6:26pm

What a difference a few weeks can make. I'm still working p/t ... my replacement was incompetent. My employer said he much prefers that I work when I'm able vs. having someone there full time who makes a mess of things. He seems to be more understanding of my limitations; he doesn't really understand but he tolerates it, lol. I'm fortunate that my field of work is specialized and there aren't many people around who can do the job.

I also have a new rheumatologist and he's great. Saw him a couple of weeks ago and have started plaquenil. It's known to help with energy issues (and disease progression/joint pain, and although it may take some time to work, I'm optimistic.

My thoughts are with anyone who is struggling with any of the many aspects of this disease. Things can sometimes change for the better much earlier than we may envision.

Take care everyone.

 

Comment by JW on March 5, 2013 at 3:57pm

I've been feeling pretty low lately and am having a hard time "snapping out of it".

There are some things going on that may not be helping ... eg: It looks like I just lost my well-paying p/t job. I'm a former Insurance appraiser and I was working for the largest auto collision centre in this 50,000 ppl city. Why? Because my employer wanted me to work more hours, and with my limited energy, there was just no way.

When I was hired, I told the owner about my disease, energy and limitations. I see now that he just figured that I needed to get back into the grind and I'd be off and running. I don't look sick and when I was working my 4-5hrs/days, I'd preserve my energy for my working hours. I know the owner from the many years I spent in the Insurance/Collision assessment business. This isn't the first time something like this has happened ... I don't look sick. Things like this have happened before: it's frustrating when I take the time to explain my limitations to people who just don't seem to beleive me!

I'm fortunate that I'm on a modest disability pension, so the bills are still getting pain, but I have a situation now: I own a duplex ... live on the main level and rent out the upstairs 2 bedroom apt. Here's the trouble: it's been vacant for a few months now, I am in the midst of doing some plumbing repairs and painting, but my motivation and energy are very low. I'm also having a moderate flare right now. I'm not getting much done, and I really need the rental income just to make ends meet! I live alone (divorced long ago, single for the last few yrs, no children) so just getting up lately has been a challenge. It was noon before I even rolled out of bed today, even though I had been awake hours before :(

I've been living with this arthritis for about 22 yrs now. I had a major depressive episode when I was first diagnosed. It actually took about 5yrs to get on appropriate medication and get the depression under control.

I haven't felt this low in over 15 years. I also have anxiety and have bouts of worry about my health, finances, etc. I have sought out mental heath support but am waiting for that. In the meantime, there are a few things I can do to try and get myself out of this low. I guess I just needed to vent....

I hope I haven't discouraged anyone  ....  I know I'll get out of this state, it's just the "when" and "how". Sooner rather than later, I hope!

 

To anyone who is feeling down, please know that you're not alone and that things usually do get better. Best wishes to all..

Comment by Chris McInerney on December 29, 2012 at 6:25pm

Hiya Jadukes and Gertie... Welcome!

This is one of  the only places you can vent and actually be heard... lol

I can relate to you two...being tired and sore are hard in themselves but when coupled with those around us who just don't get it it's rough.   I look healthy as well as I don't have hardly any proriasis on my skin.  You can't tell I'm a wreck until I move... :0)

I've been experimenting today with my family. I have 3 kids and 1 wife.  lol   In the middle of conversation I'd throw in how my left shoulder got locked up or that I couldn't straighten my knee and every time I'd mention my health.... SILENCE!   I know they love me but they can't feel my pain and so they don't get it. It kind of stinks sitting alone with it, but I feel better when I don't allow myself to get aggravated with them (the insensitive, blind, uncaring idiots).     kidding...   

Feel better all. 

Comment by gertie on December 29, 2012 at 3:45pm

hi everyone. i am new here and i am having a hard timee dealing with my illness lately. i get so tired that my family doesnt understand. i have lupus,psoritic arthritis,gravrs and hashimotos. i have alot of pain in my lower back and my right shoulder. also a small tear in my rotary cuff in same shoulder. my husband thinks i have am being hateful, i am tired all the time. well i am and its like pulling teeth to get anyone to understand this. thsnks for letting me vent.

Comment by jadukes on October 16, 2012 at 6:25pm

Hello everyone. I am new to the site. I have psoriatic arthritis and am bipolar. I have been getting more depressed as my pain increases. I have pain in my SI joint and nothing seems to help it. I find it very difficult to have something that is so debilitating and I look so healthy. It makes it hard for people to understand me. It seems like if they can't see or understand what is wrong with me then there is nothing wrong. Hopefully reading others posts and having a peer group to interact with on this site will help.

Comment by Asmerellia on September 13, 2012 at 9:45am

Hey Everyone,  just wanted to check in and let you all know how things are going.   Well one good thing is i finally got approved for the SSI.  I am happy about that.  I had xrays and blood work done not to long ago and found out that the bone spurs on my spine are starting to fuse together and my white blood cell count is way high and red blood count is way low.   go back to the doctor  Oct. 1st to talk to her about all that is going on.   I keep getting infections and they dont know why so that will be more blood work and going to another doctor.  I will keep yall informed as to what is going on.  Hope that everyone is having a decent day.   God Bless   :)

Comment by Louise Hoy on September 12, 2012 at 6:06am

Just reading through these posts makes me so sad that so many are suffering the hoplessness and grief of the 'black pit'. I wish I could give you all a big hug. At the moment I am what I think of as a state of grace from depression, but I have had several bouts of severe depression where I felt I was walking along a narrow ledge and to fall either way would mean complete madness. Part of me wanted to fall over the edge as the stuggle to keep going was too hard, but something always held me back, think its called 'true grit' :)
Without going into detail the root of my depression was my upbringing with abuse from a very early age. I had never deallt with any of it but kept it all inside and even didn't believe it for what it was, which I was told was the only way my little girl self could exsist with what I experienced.
The best thing that ever happened to me was to fall apart in 2008, I was forced to confront my experiences through counselling or risked hospitalisation. Often we cope with so many things at a time, my mother was ill and I was getting her up dressed fed, going to work, getting my mother fed and into bed after work, being a wife to an abusive husband, mother to 1 independent son and 1 son severely affected by ADD, and coping with the creeping on of PsA symptoms before diagnosis all whilst doing my degree.......... No wonder I sunk!
Through counselling I saw what was what and have learnt to apply the coping stratagies I was taught in all of my life.
I get bad spells here and there, and sit down cry and figure out exactly why I feel the way I do and work from there.
I suppose I want to say hang in there, it can get better. If anyone had told me during my darkest days that I would ever feel like I do today I would never have believed them.
I hope the future is brighter for you all X

Comment by Tracy_Riva on June 21, 2012 at 7:31pm

Asmerillia,

It took my lawyer a year-and-a-half of fighting and then another four months before they finally got my payments, both my monthly payments and the amount due as back payments processed. It really is a terrible process, especially when dealing with people like us who are disabled as much by the combination of diseases as by any one disease itself. Keep me posted :)

Comment by Asmerellia on June 21, 2012 at 7:03pm

this was my 3rd time that i was turned down.   I am gonna keep fighting them even if it takes me forever  lol.   I try not to let things get to me  but sometimes it just does not work.   between the arthritis, bone spurs, diabetes, high blood pressure,  i now keep getting UTIs all the time so i am constantly on antibiotics.     i have a lawyer right now  but not sure if the lawyer is gonna keep fighting the disability  or what   waiting to hear from them now.     i will keep every one up to date on whats going on.     God Bless everyone and i hope that you all are doing ok.

Comment by Tracy_Riva on June 21, 2012 at 10:56am

I took me four years and a court hearing with a lawyer to get my disability. Don't give up. I was turned down more times than I could count. I just kept appealing over and over again. Hang in there.

This disease makes depression something we must constantly battle with (in my case anxiety too) so try to find one good thing every day. When everything else tanks say to yourself, "Yes this sucks, but I'm so glad I had X happen today." In the beginning it doesn't help much, but if you keep at it a more positive feeling really does become easier to maintain - even when things really do suck!

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