I’m not a ‘hugs’ person but I am now, great big bear hug to you.
Okay, okay, take a deep breath. I can tell you that my nearest and dearest (very near and very dear) have had all sorts of thoughts about me along the way, of that I am very sure. And they blow hot & cold: they ‘get’ it, then they completely forget that I have PsA, let alone understanding it, then they have a bit of a think over the years and lo & behold there’s much more empathy and intelligent understanding … and so on & so forth!!
I am just the same. I may, privately, wonder whether someone is exaggerating, or over-thinking or just plain being a misery guts. Then I let it all sit … I listen to them a bit more, I ponder, and then there usually comes a point at which my views change.
It’s a process, it’s all a process. Keep your head high throughout. Your d-i-l doesn’t deserve a response from you right now, you don’t have to defend yourself, you don’t have to do anything other than keep your dignity and self-belief. It’ll all be okay.