I am getting to a point with the diseases I am thinking about taking disability. I have decided that working through all the pain and discomfort is getting to a point it is just not worth it. Financially, it would mean a reduction in income, but my wife and I could get by.
I guess the question is, when do you throw in the towel?
I worry that being home all the time would cause me to sit around and I know that will make things worse. I think I would feel guilty because I would know if I had to I could struggle through working. But at 61, I just feel like I don’t want to spend the rest of my life, or at least the next 6 years before retirement, hurting and struggling every day.
Every time I bring up possibly having to take disability, my wife rolls her eyes. I feel like she thinks I am making up all the pain and trouble I have.
I have a desk job, so that is good. But, getting up at 5:00AM every day and spending 30 to 50 minutes in traffic takes a lot out of me. By the time I get home in the evening I fall into my chair and that is where I stay until 5:00 AM the next morning and I do it all over again. Monday morning when the alarm went off I wanted to curl up into ball and pull the cover over my had. It has gotten to me having to spend 10 minutes every morning convincing myself I can do one more day.
How do you justify taking disability in your own mind and forgot how other people will feel about you doing it, or judge you?